Bad night

Hello.

When I read back what I have written in previous post, it somehow hits me hard. It is a bad night. My best friend and me had a fight and end up we hurting each other. We said something that we actually didn't mean to. We talked about leaving. 

Leaving never a happy ending for anyone. The most sad ending ever and somehow people will get hurt. Even when they try their best to not. We do feel like we can't take this anymore. We tired of our own feelings that we slowly give up on things we used to fight before. It is real. It is happening. We are just too tired for another tomorrow. 

Why do we become like this? 

Because we love too much, too hard and too deep.

We try to put a stop to this but it seems like we actually keep loving and care for each other. Love is something that we can't change into hate in a night especially when you have no intention at all to hate someone you really love. Someone who close to your heart. 

We actually want to say how much we love them, missing and want to stay with them. But instead these feelings of love, missing, wants to be with them left unsaid. We do this, especially when we are emotional, angry or just to tired to face this over and over again. I know. 

Maybe we just need to calm ourselves for us to get this thing right and just do not make a decision in a hurry. Give each other space to think and self reflect. Things gonna be okay. In shaa Allah 💪

As for me, leaving never a good decision. Especially when you actually really love them and they love you. Continue fighting for each other, it doesn't matter in friendship or in romantic relationship. As for me, just do not give up yet. I love my best friend and I do not want to lose her. 😢

Cheer up dear self.

A night thought

Hai wassssup k

This post is gonna be only a random night thought/thoughts pfttt before am going to sleep. I feel sleepy already but nah like I used to do, keep fighting back. You wouldn't want to be defeat don't chaaa lol. Okay I actually waiting for someone who is already on the way to Shah Alam. Am still waiting....k heheh

So, what I actually want to talk about is about the pain you caused and the pain you get. I just wanna say that, it sounds easy for you before it actually happens to yourself. When you're hurting, you won't feel the pain but the others did. When you got hurt, then you will understand how much the pain was. It is like the feeling is killing you slowly inside. 

It is not good ranting on social media about the other person hurting you. Yes you might feel like, "this is not fair for me" or "I want you to feel guilty for what happens to me" or "other people should know what you have done to me" kind of thing. But based on my experience, the best way is to just keep your personal things away from outsider who only await to watch your drama or sort. Not updating whatsapp status, twitter, instagram or facebook is the best way to heal yourself and kept you from keeping grudge. It has happened and let it go. It hurts, I know. You won't be able to accept it but you will soon or later. We all have hurt or be hurt by others at least once in a life. Believe me, things will get better when you learn to let it go. It is not your fault that it ends the way you never wanted it to. But remember, God has written our life in the best way as God knows us than we ever know ourselves.

Or maybe you both did feel the same pain? As we will never know how's the other person doing and feel about it. They could be in the same page like you, regretting, crying and wanting to fix all back. But...there are things that better to put an end to. If they are fated to be with you, after a long lost they will come back and you could start things over together, wise and lots of understanding. Life is about acceptance and how we react to surroundings. We must know that life is also a "give and take" matter. We need to let things go in order to let ourselves grow and be stronger. The pain could destroy or it could turn you into a better person. It is your choice. 

After a while, let me putting an end to this. I have got the messages already heheh . Kayy chauu

Sobbing like tsk tsk

Background music // Complicated - Avril Lavigne

Langit tak selalunya cerah. Macam harini, mendung je. Seakan memahami kalau cuti semester dah nak sampai ke penghujung. 😢😢😢😢😢 

It is only 4 days less to be away from home and I am absolutely do not ready for this yet. Upcoming semester must be a little hard since I am in my third year degree. Final Year Project and Industry Training await, also need to play part in Red Crescent Association (UiTM Shah Alam) as pegawai latihan (peringkat cabang) which I have to work with BSMM instructors, monitoring discipline of the members from part 1 until part 5, am in charge in every co-curricular class and plan ahead of what need to do when things do not go right lol. However, this semester would also be my last semester to be the pegawai latihan since the time of period is only one year. I have already did the half part last semester. In the next election which will be held next year, I am in my last semester so I could not part take anymore. Kasi can lah dekat junior junior heheheh

I feel excited (kot) and sad at the same time. I really need to get myself straight and be prepared. 😩 I will be missing home uhuk like really miss. I never thought time will fly this fast, leaving me sobbing and meratapi hari-hari like orang putus cinta dan heart broken. K I gerak luh and cry. Chau